Sunday, November 23, 2008

Assless Chaps, Mom Jeans, Mullets, and Mustaches

Listening to: Chinese Democracy (yes, again)
Mood: Strung Tight (I took a very late nap today)

As usual, VH1 classic is providing me with some entertainment. I always find it great fun to look back on different times and styles and have a good laugh. I’m sure I’ll be laughing about 2008 in 20 years too. As a kid growing up in the 80’s, I saw lots of questionable fashion choices. Let’s take a look at 2 of them.

So. Gloria Estephan. I can’t remember which music video this was, but it was a pretty well known 80’s tune. Gloria’s not a bad singer. Hot face to boot. But Gloria, honey, who told you that mom jeans and ass-less chaps would be a good idea? Who? You had a great stage presence and a decent song, but I just couldn’t stop staring at your bottom half trying to figure out what you had going on down there. I’m going to go out on a limb here and declare ass-less chaps a bad thing for 95% of people. Seriously Howard Stern, you are included in that 95%. Mom jeans are just wrong for everyone. Absolutely everyone.

On to the Man Mullet Stache. I don’t know who came up with this look, but they need to never go near men’s fashion again. The easiest way I can describe this look is to say Lionel Ritchey. Don’t get me wrong, I love listening to Lionel Ritchey just as long as I don’t have to look at him. The mullet, the mustache. *Shudder* By themselves they’re just bad, but together, they’re so bad they’re almost good, in a comedic way. That look just doesn’t work for anyone, but it was so ubiquitous. Gloria’s fashion camp also decided one of these gems of a man should be in her video too. I’m sure Gloria is slapping her head and saying “Doh!” when she sees the music video just like the rest of us do when we see 80’s pictures of ourselves with huge, permed hair, acid washed jeans and neon leg warmers.

In conclusion, I’m SO glad the 80’s are done. I hope most of the fashions never see the light of day again. I’ll laugh from here. I don’t want to see it up close again.


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