Wednesday, April 2, 2014

This Should Hurt, but I Can't Figure Out When

Hello Internets. 

Long time no ramble. I've had lots of good intentions to blog, lots of ideas in my head....and no excuses. I'm just lazy as fuck about some things - writing is one of them. With 28 piano students and a house to run, I'm lucky just to keep my head on straight most days.

Anyhow. The recent big revelation in my life is death. My grandmother's to be exact. I know death isn't a new thing (trust me - "No one says anything new" - so quotes someone I can't remember in my current inebriate state), nor particularly exciting. The thing for me is, I've not had anyone close to me die since I was in highschool - and that was a friend, not family. So it basically has come as a rude shock, even though I've been trying to prepare for my grandparent's eventual death since I was 18. Not a morbid fascination, more like an inescapable fact of life that I figured would be better faced with preparation. I always had difficulty with it because my grandparents were very, very active/healthy until 5 or so years ago and I still thought of them such. More on how that turned out later.

As I've mentioned, my grandmother was one of my favorite people on this earth and I was ridiculously fond of her. I was blessed to be the first of her 12 grandchildren, so I like to think that she had a special place in her heart for me too. Trust me, she was the kind of person to have a special place in her heart for each and every grandchild, along with husbands/wives/boyfriends/girlfriends, etc. She is the one that I would love to be exactly like at the end of my life, and the first one I claim when it comes to genetics. She had a stable, loving marriage that lasted for over 60 years. She was by no means a perfect person, but she was amazing none the less. Even though I could sit and bore you for 3 more hours on this, I think you get the idea - she was a kick ass person and grandmother.

Daddy G, being the amazing man that he is, stuck me on a plane the evening we found out she had passed away with a promise that everything, including my kids, at home would be fine while I went to be with my remaining family. This is why I love him internets. I spent the week helping my family grieve, or so I like to think - it was a weird week. I spoke at my grandmother's funeral, although looking back, what I said seems so inadequate for the feelings that I had for her. 

Internets, I have yet to cry for my grandmother. Granted, I am SO not the weepy type. Ever. Especially not in front of other people, even Daddy G. I always thought that this would do it though. I'm rather afraid that I'm permanently either numb or a frickin psychopath. To be fair though, I've done a damn find job being an ostrich and doing my best to avoid though about this subject all together. I think during the funeral, I just denied it was real all together. I can not figure out how I would get through speaking in front of a church of people otherwise. My family is a bit weird too. We have a few that look like tough people but cry at the drop of a hat, and those that just quietly go along without showing feelings outwardly. Our family in particular loves inappropriate humor to deal with uncomfortable feelings. Come now internets, you didn't think my propensity for inappropriate humor popped out of nowhere did you?

The only time I started leaking was when my Grandfather, cousin, and uncle dropped me off at the airport to return to India. Leaving my crying grandfather was almost physically painful - I'm overly fond of him too. 

I guess this is my reaction to the whole thing. My grandmother was 86 years old. She had a long, happy, adventurous life with a loving husband, 6 kids, 12 grandchildren, and 4 great grandchildren. Her last 5 years were spent in pain and I'm very happy that she doesn't have to hurt anymore, even though I would love another hug from her any day. What pains me is what's left behind. I have a shattered grandfather who is lost without the woman whom he claims he married because she had a car. This obviously isn't all he married her for, but how do you comfort someone in pain like that? The pain I feel from losing her seems so very insignificant in the face of that. I have a mother and aunts and uncles (there are no in-laws in our family - everyone is equally involved/loved) that grieve both visibly and not and I have no idea what to do with that.

I had to warn Daddy G today that the storm was coming - I'm just not sure when. As per my usual, it will erupt at some hugely inopportune time, over some insignificant straw breaking the camel's back. Because, you know, I'm am so completely adult and deal with my problems in a head on manner. Pfft. 

There you have it, what's been in my head. I'll try and return soon with something far less....depressing soon.


Saturday, November 30, 2013

The Piano Project and Online Lessons

Hello Online Bloggy Friends, how's it hanging?

I have a proposition for all of you (Oh no. Definitely not that kind.) that I was hoping to get some feedback on.

So as I've harped on plenty enough, I teach piano. To be quite honest with the intertubes, I absolutely love teaching. Love it. 

As of now, I have around 27 students and am about topping off on capacity of students that I can teach in person. I also have noticed a decent population of working adults (at least in India) that would love to learn, but are completely overtaken with work and can only come on the weekends (of which lessons are currently full on Saturday A.M's for me). 

The idea goes that I will have video lessons (which students should work on about a week at a time) online, 1 day guarantee email support for questions, once weekly student/teacher Skype interactions for performance, level appropriate exams, and additional educational assistance/materials.

So here's where I need your feedback:
Would you take classes online?
What services/support would you need to be convinced to take classes in an online environment?

I also am looking for some fearless volunteers to go through 2 months worth of classes (on me!) a month or two from right now and give some feedback about the program. It's completely free for volunteers, unless I get completely bowled over by eager learners! Then we may need to limit numbers. 

The thing you would need to participate: 

  • A piano/keyboard to practice on - doesn't need to be yours, but it should play
  • The appropriate computer equipment to view videos and conduct skype sessions with sound, which I'm going to guess most of you will be equipped with
  • A willingness to try out playing the piano.
  • The time to commit to 4 (30 minute) Skype meetings per month (about once per week)
  • The ability to not be a troll. Sexual comments/innuendos/invitations are entertaining, but a waste of my time in this experiment. Just don't.
I've been told I'm a good teacher and that I have a great rapport with all different ages, but you can feel free to try it out and give your own feedback as needed.

Even if you choose not to participate, please do let me know your thoughts on the idea. I do need some idea as to whether there is any interest in this at all.


Tuesday, November 26, 2013

I'm Baaaaccckk!

Mood: Rum'd Up. Yep.
Listening To: Dhadhang Dhang - Akshay Kumar is my second favorite person on earth to watch dance. Boy has some mad enthusiasm. Second only because there is absolutely no one like Prabhu Dheva. No one.

Alright wiseacres. Try not to fall all over yourselves that I've showed up again. I can't promise it will or won't happen again - that's just how I roll with the randomness.

So. From last post. It's holiday season at the G house. Speaking of which, which one of you Indian buggers decided that holiday season starts with Ganesh Chathurthi in September and continues on until the New Year? Someone kidney punch that guy. I was packed solid with holiday chikanery when it started at the end of October in the US! It's getting ridiculous.

As I may (or may not have, I can't remember at the moment) mentioned, my eldest turned 10. I endured the 3 hours worth of 10 screaming 10 year olds with most of my sanity intact. Well, as much as I had to begin with anyhow. My living room still looks like the birthday party fairy had an orgy on my couches with the balloon man. Anyone know why my walls are still littered with birthday....matter? That's right, I have one more party to throw this Friday for my other daughter. Laziness outstrips normalcy in the G household sometimes. So, yeah. Only half the decorations to frantically put up on Friday. It's a good thing. In other news, I spent a very weepy-ish afternoon getting out appropriate sized clothing for my kids and deciding what to pass on to other people to use because it's too small. It's killing me. At least the pain was a bit muted because it wasn't baby clothes. Little yellow duckies, wah!!!

Sorry, I'm done. Daddy G is again absconding to the US after the littlest's birthday party is done. Whatever. Mama needs some hair dye and coffee flavoring syrup. Even the import stores don't find it worth it to cater to blondes. Or people who are addicted to caramel and hazelnut flavored coffee. He's gone for a week this time, which is rather innocuous for his usual trip

I'm planning to send my third child to the US with Daddy G to have some things fixed. No, no, I did not go off and have an unannounced, secret child that I neglected to share with my internet peeps. I'm talking about my ipod. As I've mentioned - worlds biggest whiny bitch in terms of batteries. Unplugged for 2 minutes? Time to die. This needs to get fixed because I need to get back into running. And running without Axl and Bon Scott keeping me company just isn't happening.

Lots of craziness in the upcoming months that I'm trying to plan for. A few of my students have finished their level 2 books - Go Students!! - and will need to get ready for an exam. An exam that I am writing with the help of the other fearless teacher that teaches in the G house. Writing and exam has been eye opening, that's for sure. I'm super excited to see them excel and carry on though, which I'm sure they will.

I'm getting ready to wander off to Mumbai in December to see my very first, in person, real life Indian wedding. You guys, I am SO stoked. Daddy G and I will be going alone to Mumbai to watch a good friend tie his knot and wish him well. The one well and truly valid excuse I have to tie and wear my own sari in public. I so got this.

So yes, with the enthusiasm this evening - I have it.

The inlaws are coming over in a week or two to spend some time with us. I'm excited (surprise, surprise) for this too. I actually love spending time with them. Bring it.

I've started preparing both my students and myself for the upcoming recital in Feb also. I feel like I just finished the last one, so I'm not so enthused to start, but on the other hand, the program looks to be super interesting this year. I have decided to have two separate recitals (split the 25 into 2 groups) of roughly piano and keyboard students. It was just too hard for the piano students (and myself) to get into playing the keyboard, even if the venue was good. So...two groups, two different nights at my place. Hopefully it will feel more intimate too - last year it was a bit...well...non connective. If you know what I mean

Very full plate until Feb. I'll stick around though. This has been therapeutic. And enthusiastic.


Friday, November 22, 2013

Life Rolls On

Hello Folks - if indeed there are still any of you folks hanging around this desolate and abandoned blog.

I was looking over my past entries with regret that I’ve gotten so far away from writing as it is one thing that I thoroughly enjoy.  Both of my jobs and my children are keeping me occupied on a full time type basis. It’s wonderful and frustrating, all rolled up into one musical, needy ball that occasionally whines.

Anyhow. I teach upwards of 25 now and have another teacher whom comes to take some students in my house also.  I have been batting around the idea of putting up some oneline lessons for working pros/people for whom distance is a problem, but am not sure how this would work out or how the reception for it would be. So. Weigh in. Video classes with occasional Skype sessions with a teacher to make sure the student stays on track? Yes, No, Mebbe? Please drop me a comment.

In other news, I now have a 10 year old. 10. Year. Old. Eeks! My eldest has indeed turned 10 and I am not thrilled. I’ve been on one major nostalgia bender and can’t stop thinking about how little time I have left with her at home. We’ve jumped full on into the pre-teen attitude, and angst,
Daddy G has joined the twitter-verse! I know, I’m amazed too, as I thought surely the world would flop upside down before he would participate in any social media activities. Turns out I was wrong. Anyhow, he’s busy learning how to find people to follow him. It’s been quite amusing to watch.

I’m going to stop here for now as I have to go finish planning my daughter’s birthday party. I’ll be sure and write again after the party insanity has passed.


Wednesday, June 26, 2013

God Damn it, Where is my Damn Horse???

Mood: Positive
Listening to: With or Without You - U2

Hello Internet Folks,

It has indeed been quite some time since I wrote last. Life is keeping me busy. Since I wrote last, I have been traveling and teaching quite a bit. I love it, but have been missing writing here I am. 

I have almost 20 students at present and it is challenging to have 5 classes a day twice a week, but I absolutely love the teaching part. I am also gearing up for a recital in August that I'm really excited about too. Ah, nothing like young minds in the afternoon. 

I traveled to Goa in April for Daddy G's and my 10th anniversary. It was a fabulous trip without the kids. Head on over to to check out what we did and some pictures.

I returned to the US for the first time in 18 months in May. Can you believe I was scared to go back? It was an amazing trip, but exhausting. We were in Minneapolis, Chicago, Michigan, and New York over the course of 3 weeks. It did, however, help me re-orient myself as to who I am and who I want to be, so I see it as a positive thing. When you are immersed in a culture that you have to fit in to, sometimes you need that jolt to remember that you can be in it without changing everything. 

The side effect that I haven't reconciled yet is that I really, really miss living in the US. I think more than missing the US, I am getting to the point in my life where I want a sense of permanence. For a while, I thought we may stay in India permanently and I was cool with that. Now our plan has shifted a bit and we have decided to head back to the states in a few years. This has kind of thrown me off a bit because I know my piano business is not really going to evolve into anything beyond lessons (which to be honest has been my suspicion all along, but I'm ok with that too) and anything else I do here, including making friends, will be transient. So it's almost like I see a move coming in the I'm anxious to move and get it done. On the same token, as I've mentioned many times before, I absolutely adore India. It is one of the most fascinating/frustrating/amazing places on earth and I unabashedly in love with it.

What I'm trying to adjust my head around right now is just enjoying the time I have left to live here and enjoy being in the moment.  God damn it, I am definitely getting old. 

For those of you that did, thanks for sticking around! Hopefully I won't disappear again. 


Saturday, March 9, 2013


Hello Lovelies,

You know the drill, I'm sorry, I've been busy, I'm a work-a-holic, etc. Moving right along.

So. Someone found me this week. From my blog. The one that I talk about sex and say Fuck on a regular basis. For piano lessons for his children. Wow.

I have to give it to the guy...Mad props for not shooting off a mental "Hell no, that chick is crazy and will not be good for my children" type response. This blog may be an accurate, true picture of me, but it never, ever comes out in any form when I'm around children, including my own. I like to keep it professional. Especially with my students. Good god, I hope I'm not shoving my foot further down my own throat. 100 bonus points for actually associating this blog with other more reality based aspects of my personality and my business, sir. Cheers. Actually, I'm really glad this happened, because I've met some really interesting people, one piano player with tons of potential, and one very, very gifted piano player. Pianos are very few and far between here, so I'm actually extremely excited to find students who have a real piano, leave alone ones who have pure, natural, expressive talent. 

God damn it. I had a brilliant post about middle fingers up in the air about society's expectations of me and how I don't really care, but I just couldn't post it. Good lord but I feel like a fraud to liberated minds everywhere. 

Here's the thing. I know that I'm not the first person to run into people from real life finding me on the internets. Old stories, right? The thing is, I still haven't reckoned what is in my head with actual functionality in society. I've had the freedom for most of my adult life to basically do whatever the hell I want in relation to a community and professionally and have done so. Not that I actually work in an organization, but I'd like to keep my illusion of working as a professional in my own piano/guitar lesson organization as it is, thank you very much. I'm not ashamed of who I am, but I'm not really looking to fit in. I do smooth things out in my regular day to day interactions because fighting the system all the time is exhausting, and people are judge-y. It's easier to give the illusion of assimilation.

I promise to keep it real with you guys. That I can promise for sure, even if the word Fuck is involved.


P.S. I in no way condone your children reading this blog. Seriously people.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Hey Look, Didn't That Girl Used to Blog?

Mood: Pissy as hell. Daddy G and I just had an hour long argument about boundaries that didn't clear up anything. But this is not a ranting blog - so don't leave. Please? Just think of the children. Or don't, that tends to ruin the mood. Ahem.

Listening to: I See You Everywhere - Chris Isaak   I have been loving me some Chris Isaak lately, but seriously honey, it's called stalking. Or hallucinations, which are much more fun.

So. I almost begged out of blogging this evening, in spite of my promise to a certain chivalrous blogger with a great accent, because of said ridiculousness with Daddy G. I figured that since the man is passed out at 10:30 from a happy hour at the pub for work, I may as well do something to boost my mood. I have my ipod cranked (well, as cranked as my acer will get, which to be honest, is pretty sad) and am getting my write on, both of which tend to turn me back into little miss Sunshine. Only Snarkier. And much, much more inappropriate.

Speaking of which, this just in - Daddy G is discovering the fact that I have the utmost absolutely inappropriate sense of humor ever. I'm not sure how it took the man 10 years to figure this out, but I swear I've been like this since I was little. Last weekend, I had to walk into another room at Daddy G's bosses dinner party to avoid making a dead baby/penis quality joke. I just couldn't hold it in and Daddy G would have divorced me, I'm pretty sure of it. People, the joke was just that good. Unfortunately, it was more of a you had to be there joke, or I definitely would have shared it. After all, I shared the Swedish joke with you. 

So General knowledge you can add to your brain about Becky G - inappropriate sense of humor and inappropriate obsession with Guns and Roses.

Speaking of said obsession - I saw Guns and Roses last weekend. Wait, did I scream that? No? Let's try again. I SAW FUCKIN GUNS AND ROSES! Yep, my absolute favorite hard rockers ever landed up in Bangalore and gave an amazing show. Axl has gotten his shit together and the rest of the band was outstanding too - the show was amazing. The stunning thing about it was that it was a standing room only venue and we were 10 feet from the stage. 10 feet. Were it not for the beefy Indian security guards that let's face it, I spent plenty of time ogling before the show, I probably would have had to launch myself onto the stage at Axl. Well, maybe not launched, but crab scrambled up there or some crazy shit - I'm not in the shape I used to be. Cause you know, at 31 I'm getting up there in years. Ha. I'm just kidding. I fully intend to live to about 120. I'll be that crazy old lady that just won't die and doesn't know how to dress. That's right people. I will have those GNR tees on until they bury me in one. Ahem. The only downside was that I was surrounded by WAY too many sweaty Indian guys (no hot ones unfortunately) with no concept of personal space and that Cheech and Chong standing in front of us wouldn't share. Not cool Puff the Magic Dragon - pass it along! Random guy sweat may be the grossest thing on earth for me. Ew. Unless the guy is really, really hot.....yeah, still ew.

I held a piano recital you guys. Like a real honest to goodness shindig with about 30 people and food in my apartment. I think I'm looking like an actual teacher and all that now. Crazy. I teach 15 students plus my own kids. Right now, I'm looking to actually expand and hire another teacher. Crazy how this project is coming together. 

I survived my daughters' joint birthday party with all limbs and sanity intact. I think.

Daddy G, the girls and I are headed down to Kerala to see some of what there is to be seen. I am SO stoked for a vacation. I could really use a break. Because it runs in my genes, there will be pictures. Lots and lots o pictures. They'll be up on Following the Masala at some point in time in the next 2 weeks.

I'm going to stop here because apparently once you tap my brain after a long writing absence  it generally spews nonsense here there and everywhere until heads start exploding. We wouldn't want that, now would we??


Seriously. Guns and Motherfucking Roses, people.